Please, for the love of god, try the following:
- Don't click the Refresh button. Go outside now.
- If you are about to spend another $100 at
Amazon, then please contact Amazon Anonymous.
- To go outside, first click the Cyber
Hypnosis menu, and then click Cold Water in the Face. On the
Numb Ass tab, click Sedentary Back Pain. The Get Out of
Your Chair settings should match those provided by your local area
network (LAN) administrator.
- If your Evil Computer Addict persona has enabled it, we can
examine your network and quickly discover a way to wake you up from your
- If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
click Detect Computer-Induced Stupor
- There are a host of things awaiting you in the
outside world: fishing, skiing, skeet shooting, triathlons, PTA
meetings, and dentist appointments, for example.
- If you are unable to get up, click here and your
power strip will emit a large enough shock to scare you back to your
senses. If that doesn't work, then we give up. You are officially in
need of some serious help. Dial 1-800-GET-HELP on your computer's keypad
to reach a mental hospital near you.
- Click the Back button to melt your computer.